You may have noticed (or not) but I took another break from blogging and social media back in November, and got back towards the end of January. I find I get way too wrapped up with everything blogging if I don’t take regular breaks. And this time I had so much going on, it took longer to get back to it. Because YES, even when you are Financially Independent , you still have to deal with the reality of every day life! So what was going on this time?
And I know! It feels like I am always on break, doesn’t it? But I do
work publish posts in between:)
Related post: Another Blogging Break, Again!
My Son’s Health & The Many Appointments!
My son started suffering from major migraines in November and it went on for a few weeks. It was getting real bad so I started worrying about his health. After a visit to the doctor’s, she ordered some tests but thought it was probably due to stress. At 17? Well I guess stress can come from various sources and his body was reacting to it. (Must have been all that pressure I put on him with the University applications). After going to several physio & acupuncture appointments, he was back to normal. It’s crazy what acupuncture can do!
But during the same time period, I found out he had a growth on the back of his tongue, the doctor didn’t know what it was, the dentist didn’t know either so he referred us to an oral surgeon who … had not clue either! But at least he sent us for an MRI (a few days ago). It could be nothing, or it could be something, we should get the results very soon.
My mental state wasn’t good, it was a very tough few months. Christmas was the five year anniversary of my husband’s death and this year seemed like one of the toughest. His birthday was in early November and until Christmas, the entire period was extremely difficult to deal with. Things have settled down since and I feel better now.
(Questioning My) Parenting (Skills)
The last few months of 2018 were more challenging dealing with my kids (older kids), I know part of the issue is that I wasn’t in the right frame of mind in the first place. Like “they” say, take care of yourself first before you try to take care of others. It applies to parents too.
Frustrated With My Oldest Daughter
I was so frustrated with my oldest one because she doesn’t seem to have a clear idea of what she wants to do yet and I was worried. I think I envisioned her doing things I always wanted to do and it affected my judgment. She is a good kid and she is working hard. She needs time to figure out what she wants and I need to take a step back and respect the fact that she is not me! Easier said than done.
Middle Child Keeps Challenging The Rules
My middle child (daughter) has been going thru a roller coast of emotions and can get pretty nasty with me at times. Once again it is tough when you are already going thru a lot yourself. She is always pushing the limits and it is sometimes taken a toll on me. She is becoming an adult and doesn’t agree with all our rules (actually, mostly my partner’s rules).
Lack Of Focus From My Youngest
My son was getting side tracked a lot at the end of 2018, Grade 12, right when he needs to apply to University, the most critical year! I felt like I wasn’t doing the right things to get him back on track. But I must have done something right since because he is now 150% focused again.
Am I A Bad Parent?
I started questioning my parenting skills, am I doing something wrong? Am I a bad parent? Well I don’t do everything right but I don’t think I qualify as a bad parent (or I hope anyway).
I came to the conclusion that while I may not win the
parent single mom of the year award , I am not doing that bad. My kids are doing ok even if they are not doing everything I expect them to do. I am definitely not perfect at it and I don’t have all the answers, but I try my best.
I do, however, have to remind myself that my kids don’t necessarily want the things I want for them and it’s ok.
Was I Right To Hire An Employment Lawyer?
With the monthly lawyer’s bills adding up and no end in sight, I was questioning my decision to hire the employment lawyer. It was really stressing me out plus the uncertainty about work was really getting to me. But it all worked out by the end of December and I am glad it was so worth it at the end. You just never know.
The company relocated us to a temporary office in January so there was a lot of planning and work to do. We were losing all our local IT support including our server and any space to store files.
Being in a blended family is not always easy. It was even more challenging toward the end of the year. I noticed the more my kids think about their dad, the tougher it gets. It affects the way they are with my partner and not usually in a good way. But even without that , our blended family is a lot of work!
I feel like a full time referee, not always fun.
Finding My Purpose (One Of Them)
I always wanted to volunteer but never felt like I had the time, between full time work and my kids. Now that they are older, I feel it is a good time to finally start. I came across an amazing opportunity back in November and attended a 3 hours information session in December, submitted a full application (including police check and references) and did a 1 hour interview in January. My application was accepted and I am now finalizing my required 25 hours on line training. When done, I will then go to the orientation session. I am almost there! The work involves volunteering in a palliative care unit for children. I am very excited about the opportunity.
I spent a lot of time on the phone with my sister (and my brothers). Thank you “WhatsApp” for the free international calls! She was supposed to spend Christmas with us but she got really sick before the holidays and we agreed she wasn’t well enough to travel internationally. She was diagnosed with skin cancer a year ago and her new treatment wasn’t working very well. They switched it back and she is feeling much better now. Next year, I may try to go there (France) with the kids but more difficult to schedule as they get older.
Not always easy to be far from our loved ones.
It wasn’t that bad but the fact that one of my tenants is moving out at the end of February was stressing me out. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to sale or try to rent again. Looking for tenants in the middle of winter, including Christmas was not very appealing to me. Remember my goal is to own the three townhouses until I turn 55, which is coming very quickly by the way! Even so I did the very minimum, it was overwhelming me just to think about it.
(Signs Of) Aging
At almost 52, I am not old yet! But I can feel some of the physical changes associated with aging. I get tired much faster and getting up at 5:30 is not as easy anymore. I am still in
great good shape but I must be getting thru a physical milestone and it’s scaring me a little. What? Did you say menopause?? Is it just downhill from here?
As a side note, have you ever seen Nancy Pelosi in action? (Disclaimer: nothing to do with politics at all, just her as a woman) Guess how old she is? She is a 78 year old mother of FIVE and a grandmother! How inspiring to see a woman at that age being so active (regardless of your political views) and looking pretty damn good.
How about Jane Fonda? Not bad for 81!
As you can see, even being financially Independent I still deal with the reality of everyday life, but at least I don’t have to worry as much about money! (But I still do anyway).
How about you? Do you feel you are getting older? Do you always worry about your kid(s) even as they become adults? Have you ever been part of a blended family? How was it?